I Hate Fitted Sheets
by RealityBreakGirl
Summary: Mikey has never liked fitted sheets and they didn't like him back. But now the fitted sheets might get him in trouble. It's clean, I promise. A oneshot told from Mikey's POV and my first fanfic. Tied third for Best Michelangelo Scene in 2006 fanfic awards


This is my very first fan-fic ever, so don't be too harsh, okay? I think that this is called a bunny plot, and it came to me shortly after my family moved and my mom decided to wash all the sheets at once. I'd appreciate your feedback, just don't be too harsh. Oh, yeah. If ya'll could fill me in on some of the terminology that's used on the site, I'd really appreciate it.

I own nothing, except what I've recorded off TV. I would get something, but I think my parents would say something along the lines of grow up. In a perfect world though…

It's told from Mikey's POV

I Hate Fitted Sheets

I hate fitted sheets. You know, the ones with the elastic in the corners. Oh, sure, they're great on a bed. You don't have to worry about the corners coming up at night and getting the bottom sheet all tangled around you, but other than that they're a real pain.

Ya see, when me and my bro's were kids, we didn't have a lot. Master Splinter tried, and we didn't really realize that we didn't have much. I mean, we were lucky to have sheets at all. But on one of his scavenging trips when we were about twelve, he found some pretty descent sheets and there happened to be some fitted sheets in there. So he brought them home and fixed the few tears and holes that were in the sheets. Then he showed them to us and explained how they were used.

Well we were pretty fascinated, even Donny, although he said that it was just because he had never had the chance to see any in person before or something. I just liked pulling on the elastic. It was fun. Stretch out, let go and pop! Besides, it annoyed Raph. Ha, ha, ha!

Anyways, at first it was all good. My sheets didn't get tangled around me, and my brothers were glad, because they said that I was always bugging them about getting untangled from my sheets, and forgetting how to fold the corners down. Don't tell them, but I did it mainly to annoy them. Hee, hee, hee.

Well, it was all good until Master Splinter decided that it was time to wash the sheets. (I know you can hear the Dun, Dun, Dun!) We didn't think anything about it. Master Splinter did that every so often. And we knew that it was our responsibility to fold up the sheets and pillowcases and stuff. Master Splinter had gone out scavenging, leaving us with the usual instructions. You know the ones: Don't go out side the lair and don't hurt each other. And as usual Leo was in charge.

We were actually doing fine. Leo was training, Donny was messin' with something, and Raph and I were fighting over the remote. We got pretty loud and I guess Leo had enough.

"Come on, guys. Let's fold up the sheets before Master Splinter gets home." He said

Raph shot Leo a look "Aw, come on, Leo. We got plenty a' time. Besides, I wanna watch this show."

"No!" I yelled, "I wanna watch Justice Force! It's an episode I missed." I started to pout. "Besides, I had the remote first."

"Come on, guys. Leo has a point." Don said, "We don't want to get in trouble. He's already a little mad at us for fighting and breaking the radio." He looked down at the mass of wires in front of him. "I think I can fix it, but why take chances? I say we go ahead and fold the sheets."

"Aw, all right, fine! We'll fold the stupid sheets!" Raph groused.

They got up and moved toward the sheets. "But the sho-oow…" I whined as they pulled me with them.

It went okay at first. We all got the regular sheets folded by working it teams, Leo and Don, me and Raph, and we all did our own pillowcases. But the fitted sheets were a different story. Leo and Donny got the hang of folding them really fast, but Raph and me, well, let's just say that there were problems. Eventually Raph jerked the sheet from my hands and looked like he was going to tear it up. Leo and Don moved to stop him and I was left with my fitted sheet.

Well, I knew I couldn't figure out how to fold it, so I got another idea. While Leo and Don were busy with Raph, I snuck off and took my fitted sheet with me. After Leo and Donny had calmed Raph down, they noticed that they I was gone.

"Hey, where's Mikey?" Donny asked

" I, I don't know." Raph said. "He was right there."

Leo sighed, "We better find him. There's no telling the trouble he'll get himself into. Donny, you go search the bedrooms. Raph you search the living room and the dojo. I'll go search the kitchen. If he's in there it might take a little to get him out."

I grinned. This was perfect. Raph was coming to search where I was hiding. I couldn't have planned it ant better. I waited until he got nice and close to my hiding space…and then I jumped out with the sheet over me and yelled Boo! BWAH HA HA HA-HA! You should have heard him yell and seen him jump! It was hilarious! (Bet you didn't think that I knew a word that big) At least, it was until I heard Raph yell "MIKEY!" and I decided that it was time to hightail it out of there.

You see though, the only problem was, that having never played with a fitted sheet, I didn't realize that it was different from a regular sheet. I went "Eeep!" and started to run. I got about ten steps, and then the stupid fitted sheet I still had over my head decided to spoil my fun. The elastic corner caught my foot and I went tumbling down. I rolled for a ways until someone caught me. Unfortunately, it was Raph who caught me.

He immediately started pounding on me. The fitted sheet kept me trapped, so I couldn't really protect myself from Raph. I heard Leo and Donny run in and yell at Raph.

"Raph, stop!" Leo yelled.

"Raph! What are you doing?" Donny hollered

"What does it look like I'm doing!" he yelled back "I'm beating the living daylights outta Mikey!"

I heard some scuffling and it felt like they were trying to pull Raph off of me, but they weren't doing so well. All of a sudden everything froze, and I heard a throat clear. I untangled myself from the sheet and found very angry looking Master Splinter looking down on us.

I smiled the cutest smile I could at him. "Hee, hee, hee?" I said. His tail just lashed angrily.

He made all of us do ten flips, Raph and me do extra training and made me-precious, little, innocent me! - fold up all the sheets, even the fitted ones, to his satisfaction for the next three times they were washed. It was so unfair. After all, I was the one who was beat up.

But even more unfair was that every time that the sheets were washed after that, my bros ganged up on me and made me fold all the fitted sheets. They would fold all the rest and leave me those stupid fitted ones. When I would whine and complain Raph would just look at me and laugh.

"Serves ya right, Mikey!" he'd say, "You would always ask us how ta fold the corners and then ya got us in trouble by pullin' your stupid prank. It's your own fault, Mikey, and it serves ya right!"

He would never help me fold up the fitted sheets again, although sometimes Leo and Don would help me.

But ever since then, fitted sheets and I have never gotten along. They would fall on me, trip me, get in my way, never do what I wanted, and then the corners started to come up. I started to hate fitted sheets.

But I never hated them more that I do tonight.

See, it started out a pretty normal night. We had done some training (Master Splinter waxed all our shells) and then we went out on patrol. Everything has been pretty quiet, so we didn't really expect any trouble. We were just going to do our normal route, probably let Raph scare some troublemakers (but who wouldn't be scared of Raph in a bad mood) and then go to April's to watch a movie. So like I said, we weren't expecting trouble.

But trouble was expecting us.

Hee, hee! I always wanted to say that!

Leo noticed it first. "Guys, heads up. I think we've got company."

We all stopped.

"What kind?" Don asked, "Foot?"

"Does it matter?" Raph growled. "We still get to beat up some goons."

"Aw, little Raphy misses his playmates." I teased him.

He shot me one of his glares "Shaddup, Mike."

"Guys, enough. They're here." Leo said.

Sure enough we were surrounded by a bunch of Foot ninja. But it was only a group of ten Foot soldiers. No problem, right? So we did our thing and started to beat them up. We had some great banter going, and I got in quite a few one-liners. It was great. At least until Donny yelled out.

"Umm, guys? I think we have a problem!" he called out. We all turned to look. A bigger group of Foot was making its way over to us.

"Good!" Raph said. "More Foot butt to kick!"

"Ha, ha, ha!" I laughed. "Foot butt! That's funny, Raph!"

He glared at me again. "Shut UP, Mikey!" he turned to Leo. "Well, what are we waiting for, fearless leader. Let's go!"

"Raph, no!" Leo called out "It's too many. We have to split up and regroup. I think there's a manhole about ten allies down. We'll each lure a group of Foot away and then lose them. Once you lose your group of Foot, meet up at that manhole."

"You'll have to wait for me before you go down it." Don said. "That's one of the manholes that I've booby trapped. If you don't want to get electrocuted, wait for me to deactivate it."

Leo nodded. "Alright then. That's the plan. Let's go."

"Rrrrr, whatever." Raph growled

"See you later bro's!" I called out

We had done this plan before, so it was no big deal. At least that's what I thought at first. See, this is where my curse that makes me hate fitted sheets comes into play.

See, I was going along just fine, drawing my group of Foot right along with me, leading them away from my bros and scoring some hits on them with my babies. (And Daddy loves his babies, yes he does. What? Why are you looking at me like that?) I decided that I'd probably led them far enough away and that the next ally over would be a good place to lose them. The Foot. Not my babies. I never want to lose my babies.

So, using my awesome ninja skills (I am the Battle Nexus Champion!) I ducked into the ally only to be assaulted by, what else, a fitted sheet! While I was trying to get this fitted sheet out of my face, the corner of it decided wrap itself around my hand. I totally missed the fire escape I was headed for and instead hit the wall. And let me tell you, dudes and dudettes, banging face first into a brick wall _hurts_ like shell! (Why do we say that anyways? My shell doesn't hurt. Well, not unless Raphy's pounding on it.)

I still might have eluded the Foot, but when I hit the wall I went "OW!" really loud. I had just managed to grasp the wall and keep myself from falling when a shrunken (Ya' know, one of those pointy star things) landed near my hand. I went "Eeep!" pushed off the wall, and flipped back, catching one of the sheets. I thought that the cloths line would bounce me back up and I could flip above the Foot (or is it Feet?). But Turtle Luck was working true to form and the clothespins snapped and I fell down to the bottom of the ally, hitting everything on the way down. I sat up and said "Ow." As the sheet I had grabbed settled around me. I noticed it was another fitted sheet. "What! Are these people fitted sheet fanatics!" I grumbled. "Stupid fitted sheets."

I didn't have time to grumble much more because as soon as I pulled the fitted sheet off of me I saw that the Foot ninja had made their way towards the bottom of the ally. I jumped up and they attacked me. I defended myself, but I was being pushed into a corner. One of them took my feet out from under me and I was on my shell. It was beginning to look pretty bad, but then I saw the fitted sheet. A couple of the Foot soldiers were standing on it.

"Hey!" I said, "Do you guys like fitted sheets?" Just as the two who were standing on the sheet raised their weapons, I pulled on the fitted sheet. It caught one of soldier's heels and knocked him into his friend. They tripped and then fell on all of the other Foot soldiers. "Hmmm." I thought.

I whirled the sheet around their heads and caught most of them. A couple of well placed knocks with my babies, and they were out. I took the fitted sheet off of them and faced the remaining two Foot. One of them charged at me. I waved the sheet and yelled "Toro! Toro!" Just as he got close to me I whirled the sheet away and he ran straight into the brick wall. Ha, ha-ha! It was just like something out of a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

The remaining Foot soldier looked at me and charged. I held the sheet out like before, but this time I allowed him to run into it and got him tangled up. While he was trying to get out I tripped him and Bam! he ran into the wall. It was hilarious!

I retrieved the fitted sheet and went up the fire escape. As I balanced on the edge of the rail with the no-longer-clean fitted sheet I thought, "Maybe fitted sheets aren't so bad." I put down the sheet and went to leap to the roof when my foot suddenly got caught in the corner of a folded up fitted sheet. "Then again…" I thought as I fell backwards and landed on the fire escape with a loud metallic _Ka-wang_!

"Adriana?" I heard a voice call out, "What was that?"

"Oh Shell!" I said as I disentangled (is that even a word? Well it is for me, the great Michelangelo!) myself from the stupid fitted sheet.

"I don't know, Mom!" I heard another, younger, feminine voice call out. "I'll go check."

"Weren't you supposed to be out there folding up those sheets?" the first voice said disapprovingly.

"Gee-whiz, Mom! I had to go to the bathroom!" the one I assumed to be Adriana responded.

I heard her approaching and managed to slip under the fire escape. " Mom just _had_ to wash all the sheets today," I heard her grumble, "and then make me fold up all the fitted sheets." She emerged onto the fire escape. She was a skinny white teenager with straight brown hair pulled into a ponytail. "Huh?" she said as she fingered the no-longer-clean fitted sheet. Then she saw the one I had tripped on. "Aw, man! I just folded this one up!" she picked it up and struggled to fold it. After a few tries, she gave up, stopped, and looked at it. "Forget it!" she said "I give up. I hate fitted sheets."

"You and me both, dudette." I thought.

She gathered the rest of the sheets that were hanging out-I noticed that they all happened to be fitted sheets-stuffed them in her arms and kicked the no-longer-clean fitted sheet back inside.

"It was probably just a cat or something!" she hollered back inside. "Can someone help me fold these up?"

As soon as I was sure she was clear, I made my way to the rooftops. There were no Foot to be seen, so I made my way towards where my bros and I were supposed to meet.

I got there only to find my brothers waiting for me, and Donny already working on disabling his trap.  
"Geez, bonehead, what took you so long?" Raph asked. Then he got a closer look at me. "What happened ta ya' Mike?"

At that both Leo and Donny looked my way.

"Mikey! Are you alright!" Don said

"What happened?" Leo asked

I realized that I probably did look a sight, with scraps on my arms and snout and dirt from the ally on me.

I sighed. "The stupid fitted sheets got me again." I said

My brothers looked at each other "Huh?"

"On the bright side, the fitted sheets got the Foot too, so it wasn't a total loss." I said.

"Right." Donny said. "Well, I've disabled the trap, so we're good to go."

"Then let's get out of here before the Foot come back." Leo said

They went down the manhole and Raph looked at me. "Are you sure you're all right, Mikey?" he asked.

I smiled at him. "Alright enough to beat you home!" I said.

"Oh, you're on Mikey, your on."

So that's why I hate fitted sheets. It's really very simple. I hate them, and they hate me. I'm sure you understand.

Whoa! (_fwump, flamp, wheeeset, Crash!_) Ow! What'd I trip on? Aw, man. I hate fitted sheets.

So, how did you like it? Like I said earlier, this is my first fan-fic, so I would appreciate any help ya'll could give me. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks!

-RealityBreakGirl


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